Truth
continued....
When we seek truth by looking deeply for reality in all situations, then we must first be willing to drop all attachments to desires which may twist our perceptions. Real truth seekers put the recognition of truth above their own needs, not allowing personal biases, fears or expectations to corrupt their awareness.
Parents who honor the truth and practice being truthful create an environment where children value honesty. When a parent notices that they are not being truthful they are able to share this with their kids, thus encouraging this courageous and vulnerable behaviour. As we practice truthful expression in all that we undertake including one’s thoughts, the degree of truth practice becomes increasingly more subtle. The depths of awareness of truthful thoughts, communication and actions seem infinite.
Parents often use untruths to shield their children from harm and in some situations that is a personal choice that may yield beneficial results. More typically we lie to our children for a huge variety of reasons hoping that they will believe us. Let’s think back to when we as a child started to discover that many adults lied when it was convenient to do so. The lies created confusion, as we were told to be honest by those who were not. Over time we started to mimic those that we were closest to.
Lies are often dispensed without intended harm and are subtle in nature, yet they are still lies. For example, when a child approaches their mom who has obviously been crying and asks “what’s wrong?” and the mom’s response is “nothing is wrong, now get ready for dinner.” The child may get the following messages: “It is ok to lie when you don’t want to share” or “my mom doesn’t trust me enough to share her pain with me” or, “my mom feels it is inappropriate to share painful emotions, so I better not share my painful feelings with anyone.” The child leaves this interaction with lower self-esteem and confidence as well as confusion around when to be truthful.
Parents lie to avoid lengthy negotiations with their children, feeling justified in their actions. Perhaps our child asks for some chocolate, instead of saying no, we may lie and say that the chocolate is all gone, when actually we hide the candy out of their sight and reach. “I can tell this little lie because my child is whining and arguing.” Then when our children lie to us, they use the same types of rationalizations. “I lie to my parents because they don’t listen. I lie to my parents because if you tell them the truth you are in for a painfully long lecture. I lie to my parents because when I tell them the truth they either don’t believe me or they go off the deep end.” Kids mimic what they observe, and fortunately they are more aware of the many subtle lies in communication than we give them credit for. Think of kids as lie detectors for parents who wish to improve their commitment to truth.
Practicing and promoting truth while discussing with our children when it may be appropriate to lie for the greater good, is healthy. Our health is so dependent on our connection with telling the truth and equally in seeking the truth. Our children need to be taught by example that discernment between illusion and reality is crucial for our well-being.
...Return
continued....
When we seek truth by looking deeply for reality in all situations, then we must first be willing to drop all attachments to desires which may twist our perceptions. Real truth seekers put the recognition of truth above their own needs, not allowing personal biases, fears or expectations to corrupt their awareness.
Parents who honor the truth and practice being truthful create an environment where children value honesty. When a parent notices that they are not being truthful they are able to share this with their kids, thus encouraging this courageous and vulnerable behaviour. As we practice truthful expression in all that we undertake including one’s thoughts, the degree of truth practice becomes increasingly more subtle. The depths of awareness of truthful thoughts, communication and actions seem infinite.
Parents often use untruths to shield their children from harm and in some situations that is a personal choice that may yield beneficial results. More typically we lie to our children for a huge variety of reasons hoping that they will believe us. Let’s think back to when we as a child started to discover that many adults lied when it was convenient to do so. The lies created confusion, as we were told to be honest by those who were not. Over time we started to mimic those that we were closest to.
Lies are often dispensed without intended harm and are subtle in nature, yet they are still lies. For example, when a child approaches their mom who has obviously been crying and asks “what’s wrong?” and the mom’s response is “nothing is wrong, now get ready for dinner.” The child may get the following messages: “It is ok to lie when you don’t want to share” or “my mom doesn’t trust me enough to share her pain with me” or, “my mom feels it is inappropriate to share painful emotions, so I better not share my painful feelings with anyone.” The child leaves this interaction with lower self-esteem and confidence as well as confusion around when to be truthful.
Parents lie to avoid lengthy negotiations with their children, feeling justified in their actions. Perhaps our child asks for some chocolate, instead of saying no, we may lie and say that the chocolate is all gone, when actually we hide the candy out of their sight and reach. “I can tell this little lie because my child is whining and arguing.” Then when our children lie to us, they use the same types of rationalizations. “I lie to my parents because they don’t listen. I lie to my parents because if you tell them the truth you are in for a painfully long lecture. I lie to my parents because when I tell them the truth they either don’t believe me or they go off the deep end.” Kids mimic what they observe, and fortunately they are more aware of the many subtle lies in communication than we give them credit for. Think of kids as lie detectors for parents who wish to improve their commitment to truth.
Practicing and promoting truth while discussing with our children when it may be appropriate to lie for the greater good, is healthy. Our health is so dependent on our connection with telling the truth and equally in seeking the truth. Our children need to be taught by example that discernment between illusion and reality is crucial for our well-being.
...Return
