Transition Strategies

Peaceful Parent, Confident Children
Parent with Awareness

1) Non-Judgement ~ Choose the Love Based Triangle

Awareness, self-assessment, and introspection.
Change of state emotionally – intellectually – physically.
Focus on intent Love-Truth-Wisdom.
Judgemental behaviour is often accompanied with contractive emotions.
Our language often reflects when we are in the fear based triangle. For example, “They could have…”, “They should have…,” “I wish they would have….”
Recognizing ego and it’s many forms.

2) Set up the Connection ~ Do Not Take Things Personally

Body language, proximity, softening eyes, eye contact, touch, demeanor, ‘love you’, express affection and acceptance.
Moving the body helps the mind shift perspectives.
It is not about you, it is about the behaviour or opportunity to learn.

3) Discern Illusion versus Reality ~ Take Time to Gain Understanding

Ask questions and paraphrase.
Create emotional safety or acceptance for the child.
Even if they have done something wrong, listen carefully.
Whether coaching or praising the child, the energy of unconditional love is the same.
Decide whether the situation is life threatening or morally threatening.
“Is it true?” and “How do you know it is true?”

4) Detachment ~ No agenda

Attachment to outcomes creates the ‘Victim – Blame – Defense’ reaction.
Be open to what is, love and trust that whatever is showing up is for your benefit.
Trust in the process and be present or mindful in the journey.

5) Seek Solutions ~ The Art of No Blame and Natural consequences

Blame switches focus from solutions and learning to fault finding and punishment.
Natural consequences often happen organically.
Usually kids need consequences stated clearly and then consistently applied.
The more the child is involved in the construction of consequences the better the learning.
Consistent follow through is essential regarding discipline, it is about learning not punishment.
Often the solution is right in front of you rather than creating a ‘separate’ consequence.

6) Fake It till You Make It

We do not need to feel calm to act calm, the action leads the feeling.
This is a process where we incrementally learn, failure and succeed that ultimately leads to greater self-awareness.

7) Avoid Assumptions

Making assumptions becomes problematic when we are attached to believing that our assumptions are correct.
Assumptions occupy the otherwise open mind, rendering our listening and receptivity to a judgemental imagination.
Asking non-judgemental questions can open doors of communication.

“The relationship that you create with your child profoundly affects your child’s confidence and inner peace.”